January 14 part 1: Genesis chapters 29, 30

What goes around comes around...

Deception ALWAYS comes back to us. We pat ourselves on the back, thinking we are so cunning, but our glee is short lived. We can be sure we will get hit right in the face down the road with our same tricks! And speaking from personal experience, the pain of BEING deceived is far more intense than the satisfaction of deceiving others.

In my 20's I thought I was brilliant. I was actually a backslider in my heart. I was living a double life even though I would have denied it had I been confronted. I lost dear friends because of my deceptive ways. I rationalized everything. Thank God He forgave it ALL and thank God I am a new creature. Old things are passed away. All things are new.

"Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!" 2 Cor. 5:17 AMP

^"10 When Jacob saw Rachel daughter of Laban, his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his uncle, Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth and watered the flock of his uncle Laban.¹¹ Then Jacob kissed Rachel and he wept aloud.¹² Jacob told Rachel he was her father’s relative, Rebekah’s son; and she ran and told her father.¹³ When Laban heard of the arrival of Jacob his sister’s son, he ran to meet him, and embraced and kissed him and brought him to his house. And [Jacob] told Laban all these things.¹⁴ Then Laban said to him, Surely you are my bone and my flesh. And [Jacob] stayed with him a month.¹⁵ Then Laban said to Jacob, Just because you are my relative, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?¹⁶ Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah and the name of the younger was Rachel.¹⁷ Leah’s eyes were weak and dull looking, but Rachel was beautiful and attractive.¹⁸ And Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, I will work for you for seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.¹⁹ And Laban said, It is better that I give her to you than to another man. Stay and live with me.²⁰ And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.²¹ Finally, Jacob said to Laban, Give me my wife, for my time is completed, so that I may take her to me.²² And Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast [with drinking].²³ But when night came, he took Leah his daughter and brought her to [Jacob], who had intercourse with her.²⁴ And Laban gave Zilpah his maid to his daughter Leah to be her maid.²⁵ But in the morning [Jacob saw his wife, and] behold, it was Leah! And he said to Laban, What is this you have done to me? Did I not work for you [all those seven years] for Rachel? Why then have you deceived and cheated and thrown me down [like this]?²⁶ And Laban said, It is not permitted in our country to give the younger [in marriage] before the elder." Genesis 29: 10-26

Jacob's lying ways had come back to haunt him.

^"And when the Lord saw that Leah was despised, He made her able to bear children, but Rachel was barren." verse 31

This verse stood out to me. God's ways are far above our ways. During this time, Rachel had the joy of being loved deeply by her husband; while Leah had the joy of having four amazing sons one right after another! I cant help but believe Leah's joy superseded Rachel's in many ways. 

I cant remember who gave this illustration, but it describes my life perfectly. "Life is like two railroad tracks running side by side. One track runs high on the mountaintops, while the other runs in the low valleys." 

I've found in the midst of my most painful times, deep joy is present (in another area of my life) as well.

The happiest four months of my entire life were the ones spent planning my daughter's wedding. Seriously. Scotia and I started shopping for her dress a couple of weeks before her engagement was announced. It was all a whirlwind! Throughout the years, we had had many long mother/daughter chats about her dream wedding and now was the time to make it happen. 

At the same time, I experienced some of the deepest, most shocking personal pain and heartbreak during these four months.  I spent many dark hours crying out to God. 

My happy place in the midst of the sorrow was planning the wedding. 

God knew!!! He knew I needed this joy to carry me through the gut wrenching hurt and betrayal I was experiencing. 

Now I'm on the other side of all of it- the pain and the joy. And I praise God for it all! Yes, ALL of it!

"Dear God, help me focus on the good even when all I can see is the bad. Your ways are perfect. I must trust you. When it's over, I will be stronger and better. Thank You for the rainbows and the sunny happy days (or MOMENTS, even) in the middle of the blackest night. Thank You for the perfect work You are doing in me. Thank You for You are my Supreme Example of pain and heartache leading to Victory!!! I praise Your name for You are worthy! In Jesus' precious name, AMEN."