March 26: Desperate!

I Samuel chapters 1 and 2

1 Samuel 1:1-8

Amplified Bible (AMP)

1 There was a certain man of Ramathaim-zophim, of the hill country of Ephraim, named Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite.

² He had two wives, one named Hannah and the other named Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none.

³ This man went from his city year by year to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of hosts at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were the Lord’s priests.

⁴ When the day came that Elkanah sacrificed, he would give to Peninnah his wife and all her sons and daughters portions [of the sacrificial meat].

⁵ But to Hannah he gave a double portion, for he loved Hannah, but the Lord had given her no children.

⁶ [This embarrassed and grieved Hannah] and her rival provoked her greatly to vex her, because the Lord had left her childless.

⁷ So it was year after year; whenever Hannah went up to the Lord’s house, Peninnah provoked her, so she wept and did not eat.

⁸ Then Elkanah her husband said to her, Hannah, why do you cry? And why do you not eat? And why are you grieving? Am I not more to you than ten sons?

One of the commentaries I've been reading (I cant remember which one) said it was never God's will for a man to have more than one wife. That's why He made only one wife for Adam. Makes sense to me. 

1. Elkanah loved Hannah. I guess he felt bad for her that she had no children, therefore he gave her the double portion of meat. 
This reminds me of Rachel. Wasn't she favored above Leah? It seems to me that we all have an area in our life that is good, and an area that is very upsetting. Hannah felt loved, I'm sure, but feeling loved didn't fill the void inside. She wanted a son. 
2. Peninnah was obviously jealous because Elkanah loved Hannah more, so each year, as they made the journey to the Lord's house, she provoked Hannah. To the point she was crying all the time and couldnt eat. Peninnah was not a nice woman!
3. It's interesting to me that Elkanah thought his love for Hannah was worth more than 10 sons. He obviously wasn't too concerned that she didn't have children. Yet she was still terribly unhappy and unfulfilled.

It seems to me that Hannah had a great life. All except that one humiliating area of her life. But isn't that the way it is? We can have so many blessings, but the one thing that's not right is what we focus on. I've lost count of the times in my life I was miserable because of one distressful situation. And it took over my thinking!

But I suppose if she had been content, she would never have had children. Because she wouldn't have been desperate enough to travail for a son!

"Dear God, help me to think on Your many blessings. Help me to lay my burdens at Your feet and be happy in whatever circumstance I'm in. But at the same time, I want to reach for the impossible. And ask for the blessings You have waiting for me. I love to sit at Your feet. I love to travail and feel Your sweet presence. But I'm desperate for children, Lord. Children to be born into Your kingdom! I want to be a soulwinner! I lay this down, Oh Lord. I lay my life down, Oh Lord. Use me to bring forth souls into Your kingdom. I worship You for this, Oh God. In Your name, Jesus. AMEN."