May 5, 2013: Catching Up.../Search Me O God!

Psalm 139:1-6, 14-17, 23, 24

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

1 O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me.

2 You know my downsitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off.

3 You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways.

4 For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

5 You have beset me and shut me in—behind and before, and You have laid Your hand upon me.

6 Your [infinite] knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high above me, I cannot reach it.13 For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.

15 My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricatelyand curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.

17 How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

18 If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

23 Search me [thoroughly], O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

24 And see if there is any wicked or hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Search my heart, O God! I have prayed this many times. And I am still shocked when I see the ugliness that appears in my heart at times. Stuff rises to the surface that I would never dream could even be in there!

My heart is like my kitchen. I stand at the sink scrubbing dishes and filling the dishwasher. Then I thoroughly wipe everything down. I stop for a moment to admire the results of my hard work. How sparkling clean it is! ...Only to walk in after dinner just a few hours later, and start doing exactly the same work all over again! Kitchens rarely stay neat and tidy. 

Hearts need constant upkeep as well. I am almost 55 years old and I find myself working harder than ever on my heart. Sometimes at first glance a kitchen can seem clean. But there's built up grime that has to be deep cleaned. I have been deep cleaning my heart lately and let me tell you it's not attractive and it's not fun! I'm not proud of what I'm finding. But it's okay. I'm determined to keep scrubbing. One day I will be as pure gold. 

Job 23:10

Amplified Bible (AMP)

10 But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous].

"Jesus thank You for our time together today studying Your precious word. Thank You for trying me in the fire, even though it's hard. Awful, actually. Thank You for showing me the ugly, grimy parts of my heart so I can clean, clean, clean! Thanks for loving me enough to reveal my faults to me. Search my heart, O God. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow, O God. 

Psalm 51:7

Amplified Bible (AMP)

7 Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

Isaiah 1:18

Amplified Bible (AMP)

18 Come now, and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be like wool.

Thanks, Precious Jesus. AMEN."