December 12: Rock of Love!

Suggested reading:Acts 24:1- 26:32

Acts 26:1-23

Amplified Bible (AMP)

26 Then Agrippa said to Paul, You are permitted to speak on your own behalf. At that Paul stretched forth his hand and made his defense [as follows]:

2 I consider myself fortunate, King Agrippa, that it is before you that I am to make my defense today in regard to all the charges brought against me by [the] Jews,

3 [Especially] because you are so fully and unusually conversant with all the Jewish customs and controversies; therefore, I beg you to hear me patiently.

4 My behavior and manner of living from my youth up is known by all the Jews; [they are aware] that from [its] commencement my youth was spent among my own race in Jerusalem.

5 They have had knowledge of me for a long time, if they are willing to testify to it, that in accordance with the strictest sect of our religion I have lived as a Pharisee.

6 And now I stand here on trial [to be judged on the ground] of the hope of that promise made to our forefathers by God,

7 Which hope [of the Messiah and the resurrection] our twelve tribes confidently expect to realize as they fervently worship [without ceasing] night and day. And for that hope, O king, I am accused by Jews and considered a criminal!

8 Why is it thought incredible by any of you that God raises the dead?

9 I myself indeed was [once] persuaded that it was my duty to do many things contrary to and in defiance of the name of Jesus of Nazareth.

10 And that is what I did in Jerusalem; I [not only] locked up many of the [faithful] saints (holy ones) in prison by virtue of authority received from the chief priests, but when they were being condemned to death, I cast my vote against them.

11 And frequently I punished them in all the synagogues to make them blaspheme; and in my bitter fury against them, I harassed (troubled, molested, persecuted) and pursued them even to foreign cities.

12 Thus engaged I proceeded to Damascus with the authority and orders of the chief priests,

13 When on the road at midday, O king, I saw a light from heaven surpassing the brightness of the sun, flashing about me and those who were traveling with me.

14 And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice in the Hebrew tongue saying to me, Saul, Saul, why do you continue to persecute Me [to harass and trouble and molest Me]? It is dangerous and turns out badly for you to keep kicking against the goads [to keep offering vain and perilous resistance].

15 And I said, Who are You, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus, Whom you are persecuting.

16 But arise and stand upon your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, that I might appoint you to serve as [My] minister and to bear witness both to what you have seen of Me and to that in which I will appear to you,

17 Choosing you out [selecting you for Myself] and delivering you from among this [Jewish] people and the Gentiles to whom I am sending you—

18 To open their eyes that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may thus receive forgiveness and release from their sins and a place and portion among those who are consecrated and purified by faith in Me.

19 Wherefore, O King Agrippa, I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision,

20 But made known openly first of all to those at Damascus, then at Jerusalem and throughout the whole land of Judea, and also among the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works and live lives consistent with and worthy of their repentance.

21 Because of these things the Jews seized me in the temple [enclosure] and tried to do away with me.

22 [But] to this day I have had the help which comes from God [as my ally], and so I stand here testifying to small and great alike, asserting nothing beyond what the prophets and Moses declared would come to pass—

23 That the Christ (the Anointed One) must suffer and that He, by being the first to rise from the dead, would declare and show light both to the [Jewish] people and to the Gentiles.

Acts 26:20

The Message (MSG)

19-20 “What could I do, King Agrippa? I couldn’t just walk away from a vision like that! I became an obedient believer on the spot. I started preaching this life-change—this radical turn to God and everything it meant in everyday life—right there in Damascus, went on to Jerusalem and the surrounding countryside, and from there to the whole world.

Acts 26:20

J.B. Phillips New Testament (PHILLIPS)

19-23 After that, King Agrippa, I could not disobey the heavenly vision. But both in Damascus and in Jerusalem, through the whole of Judea, and to the Gentiles, I preached that men should repent and turn to God and live lives to prove their change of heart. This is why the Jews seized me in the Temple and tried to kill me. To this day I have received help from God himself, and I stand here as a witness to high and low, adding nothing to what the prophets foretold should take place, that is, that Christ should suffer, that he should be first to rise from the dead, and so proclaim the message of light both to our people and to the Gentiles!”

Acts 26:20

New International Version (NIV)

20 First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and then to the Gentiles, I preached that they should repent and turn to God and demonstrate their repentance by their deeds.

I just came out of a feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, "what's the point", "I want to run away" bout. This went on for about 5 days. I would halfheartedly, sort of pray, and shed a few tears of self pity, then trudge through the day, hoping it would go by quickly. 
Yesterday I sat in my office and methodically started to prayed my prayer cards like I always do. And then I began to pray them more emphatically. I started to become a little angry, actually. Because I was frustrated. I was losing hope that my prayers were even being heard! And something amazing happened! God's sweet presence came and I started to sob grateful tears of repentance. He hears me! He comes down and sits with me! In times like these. Wow.
Today His sweet presence is near once again. Today I have hope once again. I fell back, and now I'm back. From this moment on, I don't want to fall back and come back any more. I want to go deeper and deeper and deeper. That's all. Just deeper.
"Thanks, Jesus, for taking me through another trial. And thanks for putting up with me. I want to live a life of constant repentance. Every day, all day continual repentance. Continual cleansing. Continual washing. You are amazing and I love You and I promise to let You love me! Saturate me with Your love! You are my Rock of Love. AMEN."